As a Christian, one of the most important decisions you will ever make in life is choosing a spouse.
It’s no surprise that Christians often search for guidance from God in making this decision.
But the question is, does God really tell you who your spouse is?
Is there a specific person out there that God has chosen for you to marry, or is it up to your own discernment?
Let’s dive deeper into this topic and see what the Bible has to say.
We believe only one person exists for us
One of the most common misconceptions about God’s plan for marriage is the belief that there is only one person out there for us.
While it’s true that God has a plan for our lives, including our marriages, the idea that there is only one “perfect” person out there for us is not necessarily biblical.
In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7:39, Paul says that a widow can marry anyone she chooses, “only in the Lord.”
This suggests that as long as we’re marrying someone who is a believer in Christ and who aligns with our Christian values, we have some freedom in choosing a spouse.
However, just because God may not have one specific person in mind for us to marry, it doesn’t mean we should just choose anyone either.
Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”
While we have free will to make our own decisions, we should ultimately seek God’s will and purpose in our lives, including who we choose to marry.
Seek guidance from people you trust
So how do we discern God’s will when it comes to choosing a spouse?
One way is to seek guidance from trusted Christian mentors or counselors who can provide wise counsel and biblical insight.
We can also pray and ask God for wisdom and discernment in making this decision.
James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
It’s important to also search the Scriptures for guidance on what kind of spouse God desires for us.
Fruit of the relationship
Another factor to consider is the fruit of the relationship.
Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
If we see these fruits in the relationship, it’s a good sign that it may be from God.
On the other hand, if there is strife, jealousy, or any kind of toxic behavior in the relationship, we should take caution and seek guidance from others.
Don’t look for the perfect person
It’s also important to remember that marriage is not just about finding the “perfect” person, but rather about two imperfect people coming together to form a covenant relationship.
It’s about putting God first, serving and sacrificing for one another, and growing together in Christ.
As Christians, we are called to love one another as Christ has loved us (John 15:12), and to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21).
It’s not about finding the perfect person, but rather becoming the right person for our spouse.
While there may not necessarily be one specific person that God has chosen for us to marry, it’s important to seek God’s will and purpose in our decision.
We should seek wise counsel from trusted Christian mentors and counselors, pray for wisdom and discernment, search the Scriptures for guidance, and pay attention to the fruit of the relationship.
Ultimately, marriage is about two imperfect people coming together to form a covenant relationship centered on Christ.
As we seek God’s guidance in this decision, may we trust in His plan for our lives and trust that He will work all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).