Types of Love and What The Bible Says

by Sister McCook
A married couple kissing

Love is the greatest force in existence. There is a strong basis for this claim however, because “God is love”, and the greatest force in existence is God. This satisfies the equation.

It is this same love that originates from God that we find broken into different categories depending on the situation that brings the communication of it.

The Different Types of Love

Love has been classified into segments; from three, to four, to even eight. Let’s however see it split into eight categories these include;

  1. Agape (God-kind of unconditional love)
  2. Phileo (affectionate love between friends)
  3. Eros (romantic love)
  4. Philautia (self-love)
  5. Storge (familiar love)
  6. Pragma (enduring love)
  7. Ludus (playful love)
  8. Mania (obsessive love)
A heart shape tree

Looking at the classes of love above, I guess we understand why some just limit them to three or four; because most of them look like very similar to the other.

Now, we see that there are different kinds of love that humans interact with on a daily basis, but our main focus will be on the relationship/romantic love (phileo); this is the kind of love that the married couple enjoys as you rightly guessed.

But it’s not only the married couple that interacts with this love; it is also found among dating or courting couples. Not saying that they are only limited to this kind of love, but it’s more like a two-color coat that you can turn in or out.

What this means is that for a couple they experience all of these forms of love at different times, and in fact, control the way and the kind of love they wish to channel at any particular time.

married couple hugging and kissing

That’s how it works for humans, only God truly has the ability to feel only agape towards us at all times, because honestly, he couldn’t feel any of the others; it is not relatable to him.

Types of Love Relationships

Back to couples, and specifically the unmarried, dating couple. Everyone knows that definitely they feel some kind of love, which is the reason why they are together in the first place.

What nobody knows is what dimension of love is driving a spouse at any particular instance of time; do they just feel unconditional love, or they are experiencing a romantic kind of love at the moment, etc.

This is the reason why the Bible has restrained us to the kind of love we should feel especially when we are not yet married, and it’s clearly not eros.

At least, the Bible makes it clear to flee fornication and so there is no debate on this, however, another touchy subject is whether kissing before marriage is wrong?

Square pieces of board spelling love

When we say kissing, of course we do not mean the “holy kiss” prescribed by Paul the apostle in 2 Corinthians 13:12, no, this goes way beyond that. It is an expression of “love” between a male and a female as God made it.

Is Premarital Kissing a Sin

It is not limited to the married couple however but is also an act that the unmarried may use to restate their love and commitment towards each other.

But is this action biblically correct for the unmarried couple? Or how far does the bible ask us to go when we’re not within the confines of marriage?

Here’s what the bible says:

“Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. – 2 Timothy 2:22 NIV

While this passage does not outrightly have the word “kissing” in it, it is safe to assume that it is between the lines since it is also a product of youthful lusts.

A couple kissing in sunset

We are able to derive this because the Greek word translated as ‘flee’ used here means ‘to avoid doing something’, so it’s something you have control over.

Also, the word translated as ‘lusts’ means ‘strong passions and emotions’ in Greek; I think kissing should rightly fall under this category as well. So, this is a warning against the feelings and emotions that the youth experience at their young age.

We can all agree that the youthful age is one that is encompassed by all manner of temptations and trials.

The reason that the youth is restricted from even a premarital kiss is not because it is not an expression of love, but because this act may lead to bigger things that we are trying to avoid. So the bible says:

”It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable…” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 NIV

‘Immoral’ means to be ‘not moral’. While some may believe that it depends on the intent of your heart, how much power have you mastered over your body?

boy and girl hugging smiling and kissing

It is a step in the right direction to avoid what may be uncontrollable in the nearest future. So, let us love truly and purely with the kind of love that is holy. Wait till you are bound by marriage when it is legal before God and before men.

You may also like