Discerning God’s Will: How Do You Know if God Wants You to Stay Single?

by Sister McCook
Guy with phone in his hand found date on dating app

The decision to get married is one of the biggest choices we’ll ever make in our lives.

As Christians, we understand that this decision is not just ours to make but also God’s as we believe that He has a plan for our lives.

Some people have a clear conviction that they are called to stay single, but for others, the question lingers—how do you know if God wants you to stay single?

In this post, we’ll explore some of the key factors that can help discern the answer to this question.

Gift of Singleness

The Bible teaches that some people are given the gift of singleness, which means they have a deep contentment and joy in living a life without a spouse or sexual partner.

1 Corinthians 7:7-8 says, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.”

If you experience a sense of fulfillment in being single, it may be a sign that God has given you the gift of singleness.

Lack of Desire

While there is nothing inherently wrong with pursuing a marital relationship, it is important to examine our hearts and motivations for desiring one.

If you find that you lack a sincere desire or strong attraction toward a potential romantic partner, it may be a sign that marriage is not in God’s plan for you.

Personal Calling

God’s plan for each of us is unique and specific to our individual lives.

For some people, this may involve a call to serve Him in a particular way that is incompatible with marriage and family life. ‘

Personal convictions, goals, and passions can all factor into this calling.

For example, you may feel called to be a missionary, full-time ministry worker, or a career that involves extensive travel.

In these situations, staying single may be a more practical and realistic way to live out your calling.

Seasons of Life

Just as there are seasons in nature, so too are there seasons in our personal lives.

There may be times when God has a specific purpose for us as a single person, but that could change in the future.

It’s important to be open to God’s leading and recognize that His plans for us can grow and shift over time.

There may be seasons where God is calling you to focus on personal growth, education, career, or ministry.

Seeking Wise Counsel

Discernment requires seeking wise counsel from trusted mentors and friends.

They can help provide insight and perspective as we weigh different factors and listen to God’s leading.

It’s also essential to spend time in prayer and studying God’s Word for guidance and direction.

Talk with trusted Christian friends, family members, or pastors- people who have a reputation of walking with God and hearing from Him.

Share with them your thoughts and feelings regarding marriage and ask them to pray with you for discernment.

They can offer a perspective different from your own, challenge biases and assumptions you may have, and provide godly advice.

Meditate on God’s Word

One of the most effective ways to discern God’s will is by spending time meditating on His Word.

The Bible is filled with examples of individuals like Jesus, Paul, and John the Baptist, who were called to carry out God’s plan without the presence of a significant other.

As you study these examples, pray for guidance and clarity regarding God’s will for your life.

Pay Attention to the Fruit of Obedience

When you are living in obedience to God, the fruit of the Spirit should be evident in your life (Galatians 5:22-23). Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

If you are feeling fulfilled and experiencing spiritual growth in your singleness, these fruits are most likely being produced in your life.

It may be a sign that God is calling you to remain single and dedicate your life to His work.

Evaluate Your Motivations

A crucial question you must ask yourself is why you desire to get married.

Is it because you want to experience love or because you desire companionship and intimacy?

Or is it because of societal expectations or because you feel like you are supposed to get married?

It’s important to assess your motives, question what drives them, and determine whether your motivations align with God’s will.

Pray with an Open Heart

Finally, it’s essential to come to God in prayer with an open heart and mind; ask Him for discernment and guidance.

Pour out your heart to God.

Ask Him to show you His will for your life. Ask Him for the strength and grace to follow His plan, whatever it may be.

Discerning God’s plan for your life, particularly when considering whether or not to remain single, can be challenging.

It’s important to remember that God knows what’s best for us and has a unique plan for our lives.

We must seek His guidance and trust in His timing, knowing that He has good things in store for us.

Meditate on His word, seek counsel, pay to attention to the fruit of obedience, evaluate your motivations, and pray with an open heart.

Singleness can be a surprising and fulfilling opportunity to grow your relationship with God and serve Him with your life fully.

Stay open to His leading and see what unfolds in your life.

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